damnitamy

i was reading an article in LA weekly just now. It was about a kid named Shyboy. How he died. It went on about the party before hand, and how the others at the party knew him, how the hotel said they did not know how he got in [bullshit, they knew there was a party and they knew how kids invite others etc.], how no one knew he was dead in the bottom of the pool until a vacationer was taking his last swim before heading home. I just wanted to say kids, that I know it's tempting to just say eff it and have a good time, but just be careful. there are so many things that can go wrong, and just be aware of your surroundings etc. i remember my party days, i look back and i am so thankful i didn't end up like many of our friends, the kids we went to school with and shyboy. the story never gave his name, he never made press until this article, and there are countless of us that we can think of who "went off the deep end". either to hard drugs, poor life choices, growing up too quickly, or just falling through the cracks.

think of what it is you want out of life. and keep that in mind. i am not saying those weren't good memories, well, those i can remember at least, but just be careful. don't smoke with someone you don't know. make sure if you're at a hotel party, someone knows where you are, someone who cares enough to make sure you're alright in the morning or that you get home safely.

they taught us the buddy system and we have wingmen for reasons. i am not blaming anyone in this, but i am using it as a spur for this journal entry. i may not know all of you personally, but i care enough to not want to hear about this happening to anyone else.

RIP shyboy. I don't know what happened exactly, i wasn't there, but hopefully this helps you live on in some small way.

- no double life, totally on track with God.
- complete my BA in Communications/Marketing with an emphasis on Public Relations
- finishing up my masters.
- having my child [but not before I am 24 and married - also adopting or surogate or able to afford being able to put everything back together].
- married of course [platinum band with pink diamond heart and two mini pearls/diamonds on either side].
- moving out of the mainland/country. [Hawaii, Wales]
- buying a house [two bedroom with a study and yards, cottage style with ivy and brick, like aunt caroles].
- working in PR with Amnesty International or another reputable Human Rights organization Non-Prof.
- only debt is for the house.
- eloquent speech and mannerism.
- forgiven self.
- minimalistic.
- joyful in everything.
- have three doxies. or one that plays with neighbors doxies. i just want to walk three doxies on the weekends. :)
- have quite the collection of concert memorabilia.
- whole.

- insults on looks
- ordering you to do things you're already doing
- projection

they are all signs that there is NOTHING BETTER TO PICK ON YOU FOR.

so recognize it, smile, and be kind in response. they're actually complementing you on your strength and talent.

always remember to consider the source of true criticism. many times your biggest critic is the one who is most jealous. recognize the yapping chiuauas trying to prove something as opposed to those who are giving TRUE criticism with your benefit in mind.

there is a civil and uncivil way of resolving discrepancies.

DON'T STOOP TO THEIR LEVEL!!! otherwise, you're just like them. yipping chiuauas. congrats, you've just lost.

- dome home.
- live in hawaii for minimum two years/three
- live in wales for minimum two/three years
- backpack across europe
- skydive
- scuba dive ferreals
- base jump
- camp in the grand canyon and walk on the glass bridge thing
- parasail
- hang glide
- complete a triathelon, marathon, and walk for the cure
- work in pr for a non profit human rights organization
- surf
- visit the rain forest
- live in the holy land for one year
- live in austrailia for at least 9 months
- fly over the bermuda triangle
- get my personal pilots lisc.
- own the doxies all siblings or pseudo siblings
- have dreds
- have a mohawk
- stretch ears to 4g and have bamboo plugs
- fall in love with someone who is desreving
- have my lip, tounge and webbing pierced all at the same time
- get my masters in communitcations and marketing
- study theology at the family school
- live in India for at least 3 months
- earn enough boy scout patches to satisfy my curiosity
- live in a beach house for a summer with some of my best chick friends
- live in one of those huts out in the ocean for a week or so
- build a few more houses in mexico
- participate in a real exorcism [not the deamon of music, type, PLEASE]
- have the book club
- finish the self portrait project
- actually do the devens project
- own a cottage for four or five years
- shower lovin's on my own family (even if it ends up just being me my bf and my doggies)
- do the sunset project
- get stung by a jelly fish in some random place
- swim with sharks
- swim with dolphins
- kayak on the ocean
- know more about marine biology than i do right now
- study damn near all of the oxford edition books
- buy myself the book CENTURY
- do the self polaroid year project (& create a blog soley for it)
- get my three tattoos
- become eloquent in speech and mannerisms
- formally (?) train in mixed martial arts
- live a life worth living.